Monday, September 30, 2013

Short Shorts

Who Wears Short Shorts?

2 years ago I was out running the streets of my neighborhood, it was a peaceful late summer leaving and was right with the world.  Then this peaceful run was turned into a traumatizing experience. I was cruising along passing the mid point part of the run I went by a house and out front where some young girls playing.  As I ran past, I made out what I thought to be some laughing and pointing.  I did not stop but glancing over my shoulder as I wanted to see what was up. Then.  It.  Happened.  "Hey Mr. Short Shorts...those are to short for you to be wearing.  I was nearly frozen in my tracks.  I was shocked, embarrassed and feeling like my 9th grade self.  How could some young girls be making fun of me for my short running shorts.  

That afternoon run left me scared for life...and my psychological fear of "to short running shorts" or Shortyshortnophobia, as it is known in the medical professional world. began.  I can no longer pull on a pair of 3" inseam shorts and not wonder if I'll be the butt of some pre-high school girls scorn.  I wonder at each smile, wave or chuckle along my running path, are they laughing at me?  Am I showing to much leg....will the guys/gals from Westboro Baptist be protesting me next?  Even with counseling, some slight electroshock therapy I still hide my shorter shorts in the back of my running stuff draw.

Then I wondered, do I suffer this shame alone?  How many others have been made to feel the shame of too short shorts?  And just who sets the standard of how short shorts should be?

Are you a 1.5" or 3" inseam guy?

I'm not real comfortable sporting these....I feel a bit exposed.  Along with these shorter inseams most of these shorts also offer V cuts.  But I can understand if your going for the gold, less is better and if these offer you less drag, then rock the 1.5" or 3 inch. 

Is 5" more your style?

5" shorts are more my style...I'm real comfortable in these, not to much material and plenty of coverage.  I tend to roll the waist band up one roll which gives me a 4" inseam short.  This adjusted length provides coverage yet leaves a little more of my thigh above my knee exposed.  

Are you more comfortable in a pair of 7" shorts?

These shorts provide plenty of coverage, but when I have worn these longer types, they tend to collect and bunch up.  These shorts have been prone to cause chaffing issues on long runs and I'm not a fan.

Or are you more at home in the 9" inseam?

Any length longer then 7" and especially the 9" or longer "shorts" I begin to wonder why.  I wonder why wear them, why are they called shorts, why not just wear a full length pair of pants.  If your comfortable in them...I won't judge but they are not for me.  

Or are you trying out for the NBA?

 I'm sorry I just don't get these long long "shorts" why not just wear pants?


  1. Even on the girls end of things- length of shorts can be controversial. I show up to a race in short spandex shorts and get glared at like who is this girl acting like this is the olympics or something. You have to run in what's comfortable, even if other people don't like it- but in reality they don't like it because they are jealous ;)

  2. Hah, fun post. Shorts length is definitely an ongoing subject of debate. Thankfully less so among the running community. Personally, I prefer shorter shorts for running as well. 2 1/2 - 4" inseam shorts work well for me, compression in particular, though I know its not for everyone. I run fast and sweat a lot - loose baggy shorts just hold more water weight and cause chaving on the long runs. Less material means less drag, better comfort and performance for me. I find compression actually reveals less then sweaty, baggy shorts. At the end of the day, its all about comfort. Some people stare or smile in approval, some smirk in disapproval. Most don't care either way. No matter to me.